I must be too annoying 4 u.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
