you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
