it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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