What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
