i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
