So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
