now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
