the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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