you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
