I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He felt like a one man threesome
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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