It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
