so explain again why im purple
no
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
