he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize