i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
