It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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