Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize