Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
What a dumb baby whore.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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