It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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