I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
