I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
