ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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