I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
