She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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