I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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