Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
