i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
