i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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