My hand turned me down
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
