im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
