I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
