i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
