But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
