I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
