It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
