just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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