The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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