end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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