she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
