I think I just saw someone hide a body.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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