Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
