I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
