can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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