Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
