it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
