i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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