why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
