How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
