Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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