I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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