Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
