My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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