I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
