sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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