You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
