So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
