I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
