Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
