nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
