Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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