....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
