I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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