just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
