He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
