Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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