Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema†were spoken.
Randomize