Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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