I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize