He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
