i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Acid is not a monday night drug
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
