plz talk dirty to me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
