Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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